Confessions of a Warehouse Club Shopper

Um, yes, that was my  barefooted four year old child. She snuck down to play video games instead of searching for her shoes and socks, and I’m all about natural consequences.

Yes, those were my children flinging one another hoedown style down the aisle. I understand your nervousness, but  they’re trained to stop when you come near.

Oh yeah, that was me crushing on the $30 faux leather jacket in the same shade as my $150 real leather boots. It had everything to do with price and nothing to do with saving cows’ lives.

I’ll admit, it was me who left the box of vanilla wafers in the animal crackers spot, as I pulled a switcheroo. And that was my daughter returning the processed sweet potato casserole to the creamed spinach case. Don’t worry, I cleaned up the mess someone else left in the fresh spinach area.

Heck yeah, I’m the one who fed my children lunch by visiting all the sample carts. Those taquitos were awesome! But, no, I won’t be purchasing any–they’re total junk food.

Uh huh, that was me swooning at the register when I heard my total. Since when is $400 a bargain?

Oy, that was my size 12 arse sticking up at you in the parking lot. I was cleaning up the 1184 legos that spilled out of the bin in my trunk. Trust me, 10 years and 4 children ago you’d have been whistling.

Yup, that was me sucking down a large strawberry shake with whipped cream and maraschino cherry inside an invisible bubble around the drivers’ seat of my van, pretending not to hear my children squabble. 

Oh, I admit it. I shopped at BJ’s today.

6 responses to “Confessions of a Warehouse Club Shopper

  1. I thought I recognized that arse at BJ’s today!!! 🙂

    (I really was there, but jk about your arse!!)

  2. You’re HILARIOUS today!!
    My favorite ~
    “10 years and 4 children ago you’d have been whistling.”

  3. Thanks for the giggle! Love the part about the sample carts, and the kids throwing each other down the isle- been there, done that! BTW, we like Harris Teeter for lunch, but I don’t shop there, it’s too expensive 🙂

  4. We love the samples too! =)

  5. ROFLOL — oh, our days look so much alike! I feed my kids lunch at the grocery store, and my house usually looks like a Lego factory has exploded inside it. 😉

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